It Really Is a Wonderful Life

When you find out your incredibly lucky and authentically loved you just want to share it with everyone.

When you find out you have guardian angels, you want to ring that bell for all to get their wings. 

As some of you may know by reading my posts, my husband Patrick and I have been down a bumpy road for the last few years. Similar I’m sure to others’ experience, we have hit highs and lows in rapid succession and none of it was expected. We hope and pray for smoother sailing in the future, but if we had that this past year, we wouldn’t have the kind of grace we experienced last night.

We decided not to tell the entire truth to our kids (Christian, 8 and Lucas, 6) about why mom is not working right now. What they do know is that they are having a new brother in February and that mommy wanted to be at home with the new baby. Telling the truth to them and other people is much harder to do.

If I’m going to write a blog about being honest but kind, I should probably start with my own story.

The truth is that I was let go from my job. I was let go from a job at my church that my kids love to attend, where Patrick and I serve as small leaders to groups of kids every Sunday. It’s incredibly painful to say and still doesn’t make sense, but a few weeks after I announced my pregnancy and after I was presented with a new position, I moved my responsibilities over to another team member and then was abruptly let go.

“Not a good fit” I was told.

Heart failure. Shame like I’ve never experienced before. 

I am not alone in losing a job or even losing a job and healthcare during pregnancy. I have been so lucky to have an amazing support system from people I know and others I didn’t who shared their stories with me about their journey through this painful process.

And somehow, through faith and those other strong people, I know that I am meant to be here, in this place, for a reason – even if I don’t see it yet.

Incredibly, Patrick and I will be blessed with another boy in February. After a miscarriage, a diagnosed illness, and over a year of finding the right balance of my own health and medication safe for pregnancy, we were able to conceive right away. What an incredible gift!

I know so many people personally who are actively struggling with or have gone through the heart wrenching realities of infertility and miscarriage. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

So when we found out our little blessing would be here before we ever expected possible, we were so grateful.

Then our doctor saw a “bright spot” on the ultrasound. 

After weeks of happy heart beats and comforting smiles, panic dominated our thoughts. We went through a “few” tests and screenings. After Googling echogenic phosi a few million times, removing the possibility of toxoplasmosis, CMV virus and downs syndrome, it was time to do a deeper dive on what the mass actually was and where it was.

I went in for a fetal MRI at Northside Hospital. After two hours in that torture chamber we got the next phase of information and results. Cameron (our son’s official name) has what they call a subdiaphragmatic sequestration.

That long winded term means that he has a mass not in the heart or lungs (thank God) but possibly in the adrenal gland. Most likely it is just a piece of the lung that broke off and started growing, being fed by the aorta. Chances that it is a malignant tumor in the gland is very low. All post MRI views of the mass confirm it does not seem to be growing.

We don’t have all the answers yet, and Cameron will have a full CT scan after birth and eventually surgery, but the truth is this could have been a much more severe diagnosis. I can’t imagine getting the news some parents get at this stage where the outlook is not positive. I know that Cameron will be okay and somehow he will get the care he needs to fix or fight whatever this is.

Now, to the point of my story.

Patrick and I have been open and honest about our trials to our friends and family. We have reached out to small groups, prayer groups and neighbors. We have leaned on our community of friends and been honest about our hurt these past several months. Without the emotional support of these people we would have felt much more alone. With it, we have felt like a lucky part of a community.

Then last night happened. 

At 7:30 on an ordinary Tuesday evening, Patrick finished up with his football practice (he head coaches the K/1 football team at our local park) and headed to his car. He thought he had a parking ticket. Something was on the windshield.

It was a plastic bag with “The Crane’s” on the front label.

What was inside is still inconceivable to us. A card with hopeful and uplifting verses and messages. Gift cards. Money?!? We still don’t know who or how many people spent the time, gave their hearts and resources to come together on this incredible blessing for us.

Whoever you are – we are still waiting on the DNA results 😉 – you will always be in our family. We are incredibly humbled. We are overwhelmed. We cannot thank you enough. 

I’ll be honest that Patrick and I had to process all kinds of emotions when we realized what had been done for us. We cried. We stared in shock for a long time. We even fought about it. To have something like this done for you means admitting that you need it in the first place.

I admittedly had to deal with my own pride and perception concerns. It has always been hard for me to admit I need help and to accept kindness from others. I’m a work in progress. But once I did, I was able to see this event for what it really was.

We have people in our lives, amazingly people we would not call our best friends or closest family, that would convene together, talk about our trials and situation, and come together to bless us with something we would not be able to do ourselves right now.

Just to know that you are out there makes my heart burst. Makes me cry all over again.

We experienced a miracle last night. We experienced grace and fulfillment of our faith we have held onto in these past few, dark months.

Our children won’t skip a beat this Christmas season, and it’s all because of a few incredible strangers.

Inside the card we received is this verse:

I will be your God throughout your lifetime… I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 46:4

I know that there will be a day when we will be able to do something like this for someone else. I know that one day I will tell my children about this story of incredible friendship and community. For now, we are just basking in the immense joy and faithfulness of this experience. We are undeniably loved.

I know that kindness of people will outweigh anything we could come up against. To our guardian angels, we love you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Be Honest: If you have a chance today, tell your story or listen to one.

Be Kind: You might find out that you have guardian angels waiting in the wings. Maybe you could be one for someone else.

Much Love, Crane Family

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