I have rarely felt “on top” of it as a mom. As my two older kids have progressed in age, motherhood has not gotten any easier since my latest addition three years ago. I assumed I would be an expert by now, and my third son would be a breeze, but I am constantly proven wrong.
I have recently found myself in a state of unease. Our home and family dynamic are off. Things are happening with my kids emotionally and socially I can’t control. As it stands, I am doubting myself a lot, especially about my effectiveness and impact as a mom. We seem to be at a critical impasse with big changes coming – I can just feel it.
What is next for us? Will my kids be OK? Will I?
As I questioned these things this past week, I remembered a podcast about the four energy seasons and how to move through each while thriving. I realized, as a mom, I am in winter. I need to discover what each season of motherhood lays out for me and where I can find encouragement to move through them.
How can I bear each one and live in gratitude through it all?
I knew I had to go directly to scripture to fill up the space I found so empty in these moments. As I flipped through my mother’s devotional, desperate for reassurance, I came across one of my favorite verses, the annual theme for the MOPS group I was a part of.
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10
Oh, how full is a life filled with all four seasons! One with ups and downs, challenges, and accomplishments. As promised, we will have a full life – especially motherhood. Through mundane daily chores, teenage angst, and significant tear-filled events, we also have the choice to find joy, love, and peace through all of it.
Everyone goes through seasons – the hardest, coldest winters; the rebirth and renewal in spring; the fun, easygoing summer; and the hard work of harvesting in fall. As mothers, especially, we feel our season intensely through the trials and joys of motherhood. It can even feel like we are moving through all of them in one 24-hour period!
Summer
Summer is fun and easygoing.
It’s relaxing; the time goes by too fast, the days are long, and the sun is out with smiles. Summer can look like vacations, exciting experiences, sleepovers, and a family-filled Christmas. It can be late popcorn and movie nights. It can be baking your child’s favorite cake and singing “Happy Birthday.”
There are many reminders in scripture that remind us to have fun and joy while praising God through it all.
I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.
Ecclesiastes 8:15
We need to remind our kids that it’s OK to have fun. We should enjoy our life and remember that God wants us to! We need to have sporadic dance parties in the middle of the kitchen. We need to buy that puppy our kids are dying for. We must cheer at their games and overdo it at times because our hearts overflow with love.
Summer is the season no one wants to end. Moms make summer awesome, but we should remember that it never lasts. Eventually, everyone gets tired and sunburned, and the energy fizzles out. We need to have our sunscreen on.
The most important thing we do in summer is to take the time to sit back with the sun on our face and enjoy it. Breathe deeply and sear these memories in. Take pictures and tell our kids how much we love having fun with them. And then, we need to be prepared for the sun to set.
Fall
Fall is hard work and harvest time.
This season can look like late-night crying fests, rolling eyes, and slamming doors of teenager takeovers while we cool our tongues and pick our battles. It’s sitting down and working on math problems we forgot long ago. It has been working in the kitchen and the laundry room for years of our lives. It is the consistent, constant, head-down work of a loving mom.
It can also be finally reaping the benefits from repeated learning lessons and hours of instruction while we watch our baby take their first steps or our 5th grader gets student of the month. It’s a driver’s license, graduations, and weddings. It’s the swelling of our hearts and the sweet moments of validation that our hard work is not in vain.
The tedious yet remarkably satisfying fall season reminds me of the promises of the fruit of the Spirit. It reminds me of what being a loving mom truly means.
Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does bit delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserveres. Love never fails…
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
There are so many joys and trials during fall. We spend so much time in this working season that it seems like it never ends, and the exhaustion will bring us to an early grave. Then a moment of validation comes unexpectantly in a beautiful act from our child, and we remember why we work so diligently daily. No matter how it’s going, God has a plan, and our service and humility do not go unnoticed.
Much like a tree trying to hold onto its leaves, it’s silly to try and hold onto resentments and prideful moments of motherhood in this season. God asks us to be still and humble in motherhood, for we glorify Him through our hard work and selflessness. Let us persevere through this long season with hope and steadfastness and show our children to do the same in their lives.
Winter
Winter is the cold, hard season we all dread.
It’s watching our children struggle in school and make poor decisions. It’s losing our way as a leader or needing to figure out where to go on our motherhood journey. It’s counseling sessions and impromptu parent/teacher conferences. It’s questioning our abilities and effectiveness as a mom. Sometimes we are the most spiritually empty, filling our lives with worldly things that never satisfy us.
It’s easy to fall into bad habits in winter. Moms in this season just want to escape the mounting pressure and potential failures in our path. We check out, lose our cool, and sometimes lose our identity. It’s when we need God’s Word the most. We need the promises of salvation and healing from the most trusted friend so we remember our true purpose as a mom. We need to be present and in prayer more than ever.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
What a relief that we can request anything from God – He is always there and listening with our best interest in mind! Maybe God is silent right now or not saying yes to the specific requests for our children we’ve placed before Him. Only He has seen the whole story of our lives, so have faith that His will is best. Stay steadfast in your prayer life because spring is coming.
It’s important to realize that winter is not all bad. It’s also an important time of deep reflection, restoration, and healing. It’s critical for motherhood because it helps us focus on what’s truly important. It prepares us to protect and salvage the most important things – the health and well-being of our children. If we really think about it, it may be more important as a season than any other one.
Spring
Spring is a new beginning.
No matter how long and hard a season feels, eventually, you will again experience the newness and rebirth of your motherhood skills and abilities. Whether the birth of a child or coming into your own as a new developmental stage has begun, spring feels like a childlike curiosity about our little humans and is expressed as great intuition as a mom.
Newfound hope blooms when your child turns a corner on their abilities after a stalemate of development or when you learn new tactics that are like magic with your kiddos’ specific needs. It’s having one-on-one time with a middle child and listening to empathize with his experience. It’s going from two naps to one in a breeze and feeling like you must high-five yourself.
Spring is like learning to be a mom all over again and wondering, “How come I didn’t understand that before?”
For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice, and He preserves the way of His godly ones.”
Proverbs 2:6-8
We must continue to ask for wisdom and patiently listen for the answers. Eventually, we will learn to move forward as fruitful mothers, even if it means waiting a while. What’s most important in spring is to ask great questions, actively listen, and surround ourselves with great teachers. In spring, we have a great opportunity to develop our mother’s intuition and store knowledge for future generations.
Although I feel myself in winter, I’m not giving up hope. There is a reason for this season. Now is a great opportunity to deeply reflect and instill values most important to my family. I will always remember the hard work and success I’ve experienced in the fall. I won’t forget to have fun with my kids and enjoy joyful moments. And I will remember that spring is just around the corner.
Conclusion
I remember the statement my husband whispered to me, his arm wrapped around my waist at church a few days ago, “Our family is a little crazy sometimes, but I wouldn’t do it with anyone but you.” What a blessing that reminder was.
My prayer for you, momma, is that as you sit in your season, you can find the peace and understanding that yours is one to be cherished and that it will certainly change. A quote that can encourage and lift you today is, “There is no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing.”
So let’s be prepared and filled as we move through each one.
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Beautifully expressed! You have a depth of understanding most people don’t have until they have finished raising their children. Yours will turn out great and I hope you have confidence that you are doing it right! Leaning on God will definitely help you get through it. Thanks for sharing!