How much is your word worth?
Could you say “my word is my bond” and make multi-million dollar deals happen on a handshake?
A person’s level of integrity can be so high that the very words they utter are regarded as truth. For some, mission statements are created, employment opportunities arise, and operations are put into motion, all because they spoke.
It’s truly inspiring to think about.
My Unreliable, Unavailable MO
I used to be a person that not many people trusted because my word didn’t mean a whole lot.
I would make plans with people I loved and truly wanted to be in a relationship with, and then when it was time to get ready to go, I would start making up excuses for why I couldn’t. I would go through several scenarios until I picked the most believable one, and then I would cancel.
I felt like a crappy person. I know the people on the other side of me were frustrated and felt disrespected. My relationships suffered.
I did it to myself as well. I made promises, plans, and commitments for my personal development and health all the time, but I never showed up when it was time to put in the work.
Obviously, I had a problem. For a long time, I couldn’t make the right choices until I faced my issue head-on.
Showing Up Changes Everything
Stop reading right now and go get a pen and paper.
Got it? OK, good.
Now close your eyes and imagine yourself in the future.
Not you older – you as the best version of yourself. The person with energy and self-love overflowing into her relationships. She’s in the best health she’s ever been. Maybe she’s calm and peaceful. Perhaps she is entirely whole and living out her purpose in alignment with her spirit.
Whomever you are picturing at this moment, write down everything about her.
She’s waiting. Tapping her foot, I think.
The only way to bridge the gap between yourself right now and the version you want to be is to show up as the person you want to become. Hmmm, what does that mean? I’ll tell you.
If you make the choices that future person would make, you start to become what you aspire to be.
Do you believe that? Show yourself that it’s true. Pick a few goals that move you closer to that version of yourself and be committed to change in those areas. Show up. Not just once. Not just once in a while. But over and over until it becomes true.
It will take consistency. It will be hard. You can’t give up when it stinks, or after three weeks or four months. It doesn’t work that way.
Want to be the person that never bails? Want to achieve a healthy weight? Want another fill-in-the-blank dream?
Guess what we have to do?
Show up. Everyday. Sometimes working harder than anyone else in the room, up earlier than the other people in the house, going through more discomfort than all of our friends. So do that. No one said it would be easy.
Show up until the habit sticks or until you start to see yourself as the version you’ve been imagining. Maybe the real thing will be even better.
Change Your Life
How do we do it? How do we show up even when it’s hard? How do we change the patterns and behaviors we’ve grown accustomed to?
Here are a few things I want to share.
Tell other people who you are becoming.
Start sharing the qualities and behaviors that you are working on. Speak your future self into existence, and don’t be afraid to talk about her like she’s already in process because she is. The moment you do.
Under commit.
Your word is about to be your most precious asset, so make sure it has a chance. It’s OK to tell people “no” or “I can’t commit to that right now, but if I can make it, I will.” Under commit and laser focus on only the have-to. If it doesn’t align with your future self, don’t spend energy on it. I promise the world will still turn, and everyone will be OK.
Get an accountability partner.
Don’t try and do it alone. It’s going to be hard enough as it is without you asking for help. The best way to succeed at something challenging is to find someone who will keep you accountable. Engage someone who will encourage you through the process and remind you why you wanted it in the first place.
Show up messy.
Start before you’re ready. Get up tired. Go not looking your best. If we all waited for everything to be perfect before we showed up, no one would start anything. It’s going to be difficult. The most significant changes happen in the most discomfort. One day you’ll get to look back and appreciate the journey. Until then, show up just as you are… and lean into the challenge.
Are You Ready?
Look back at what you wrote down about your future self. What areas do you need to focus on to get there? What baby steps do you need to make in each area?
Write out your goals and the actions that have to happen to achieve them.
Drop what does not align and free up some space.
Tell other people what you’re up to.
Find someone that helps you be accountable.
Show up messy. Show up imperfect. Just keep showing up!
Get ready for radical change! Let’s do this! I’ll see you there!
x, Courtney
