How many times have you set some goals for yourself… maybe for the start of the New Year?
Then the 1st, 2nd or 3rd day of January rolls around and you find yourself making excuses to push them off to the next day, and the next…
Then maybe eventually talking yourself into “next month” because “That’s when I will have some margin to focus on my book” or “Bikini season is a few months away, I’ll go hard 8 weeks before my vacation.” Sound familiar?
It can be easy to sabotage ourselves and get in our own way of being successful whether making headway out of the gate or having long term, sustainable progress.
When things start to get hard, disappointment starts building or roadblocks pop up, there we go again with the “How did I think I could ever do this?”, “I just don’t have the genes to achieve this kind of health change” and “I could never be like her.”
I know I am guilty of this for sure.
But studies show that grit, positive self-talk, accountability partners and determination instead of comparison are common elements across the most successful people.
If we know this, how do we fight against taking the easy road and do the hard things? How do we get up and push a hard workout when it’s dark, cold and rainy and we just want to stay in bed? How do we do it consistently for 3 months to incorporate a habit? And why do only a small portion of people who attempt their goals actually achieve them?
Grit is passion and determination in the face of many obstacles. It is not related to infatuation or intense emotion so it is a very solid and sturdy element of those people who have it. Studies have found that the people who are gritty even in their most menial tasks (hello dishes two times a day for the rest of my life) are the ones who are most successful.
Can we become more gritty if we are not “built for it” or haven’t been raised with grit as a virtue? Many people say yes. This article explains that you can start with what you’re interested in, “show up” and practice, just believe and surround yourself with other people who are gritty themselves.
Since as early as high school I have been interested in the concept of the power of positive thinking. Yep, read the book. Nope, didn’t really apply the recommendations at that stage of my life. But since then, there have been so many more studies and research around not only how positive thinking benefits you, but how negative thinking in turn actually hurts you!
This article describes what negative and positive thinking actually do to your brain, how positive thinking builds your skill sets and the helpful ways to increase positive thinking in your life (interesting that writing is one – yay :)…
Conclusively, it is determined that positive thinking builds skills which causes more success and in turn more positive thinking thereby causing a compounding effect. So why not jump on the “upward spiral”?
Do you have someone in your life that pushes you when it’s hard, encourages you when all seems lost and builds you up by being your biggest cheerleader? These accountability partners, whether the very best kind of friends or a formal mentor can be lifesavers when it comes to succeeding in your goals.
Why do you think success coaches and motivational personalities are so popular? It’s because we need accountability in our lives. We need someone to push us, tell us it’s possible, cheer us on and provide encouragement when everything looks bleak. And it clearly shows how people who do this for others are the most incredible leaders with immense respect.
Lastly, the comparison trap a lot of people find themselves in can not only suck the joy out of life, but can also stalemate progression. Instead of moving forward to take those hard next steps or even raise our hand for the project, we can get stuck just thinking about how this person would do it better and how you’ll never be like that person.
The Bible has a lot to say about comparison and the “thief of joy” that occurs when people let it win over their own determination. And because of the culture we find ourselves in today where social media provides a front row seat to everyone’s perfect life, it’s getting harder and harder to stop.
The concept of “comparison as a thief” obviously is not new. Roosevelt coined the famous line in the 1900’s but well before that, Paul mentions the struggle of comparison in his letters to four various churches in the Bible after Jesus died. There was an apparent need for addressing this after Jesus’ death when the early stages of the church were forming.
It is even as or more relevant now in the time where we (and even our highest levels of leadership) are characterized more by how we tear down others rather than build up one another and ourselves. This article is interesting in it’s examination of the source of the topic, what we do when we struggle with comparison and how to keep our joy in the world today.
Be Honest: I hope I encouraged you today when you read this and I would love to hear about what things have worked for you in your journey for success.
Be Kind: As I reflect on how to empower these four concepts in my life this year, when I have much to do and I’m spread thinner than ever, I ultimately hold onto that just the knowledge of knowing what to do is in itself inspiring.
