It’s Thanksgiving week. A little turkey, dressing (stuffing if you’re not from the South), and cranberry sauce. Traveling and hosting dinners. Seeing loved ones you may have missed for a while.
It’s stressful.
Thanksgiving marks the time of the year where the holiday season is getting jacked up like a kid on Halloween (how many of us still have Halloween candy sitting around BTW?).
In fact, from here on out, most of us won’t see much relaxation until after the ball drops.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the mindset of “I have to do this…” (cook a perfect meal, host a killer party, have the most original holiday photos, buy the best gifts). It’s status quo to allow the family drama and stress of the holidays to become the things we obsess over.
Our brain is conditioned to take shortcuts when it comes to our thoughts. By setting a cycle of thoughts on repeat, the brain saves precious energy. Unfortunately, that means that we often gravitate to opinions that are not our own, or utter internal negative self-talk for most of the day.
You can imagine how this natural state in combination with extra family stress and limited time during the holidays can create the perfect storm. It can become a negative spiral that ruins the magic of the season.
So how do we do the most difficult things, like not being swept up in negativity and stress, during the times when it’s the hardest?
We change our mindset. Specifically, we focus on gratitude.
Here’s how to do that this holiday season and what it could do for you.
Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is basically thinking about your thoughts.
If you pause several times per day to review your thoughts and feelings, challenge them and replace them to align with your values, big changes can happen. Your attitude, perspective, and worldview can completely change.
If you want to take it a step further, you can meditate for a short period of time before you start your day or prior to having the family together with all its’ beautiful dynamics. I like to spend my morning meditation visualizing the sweet moments and loving interactions with each family member I’m going to be with over the course of the day.
I set my intention of how I want to feel that day with my family as we are spending time together. I picture myself smiling and laughing with them and letting things go that would normally bother me. It’s amazing how well it works once you see it happen beforehand.
Make a gratitude list.
It’s easy to focus on all the things that are going wrong when everything is spiraling.
It’s easy because our brains are wired to follow the easy path. Usually, that’s to the memory of your cousin telling you you’re fat when you were ten instead of generating a new grateful thought as you pour that third glass of wine.
Instead of going down memory lane, spend a few moments jotting down everything amazing in your life, how the people you are with are truly special, how this year is better than last, and any other prompts that help you focus on gratitude above everything else.
Focus on yourself.
Sometimes we forget that we can’t force everyone to experience the holidays in a certain way.
We can do our very best to host graciously and cook everyone’s favorites, but they will still interpret through their own personal lens. In fact, it has been proven that if ten different people go through the same ordeal, they will all have unique experiences and memories of that event.
We are each one of us uniquely created. We have various love languages, enneagram scores, IQs, and interests. It is not your responsibility to manage everyone’s feelings. The only thing you can control is yourself. So, try and be the best version that you can. It may inspire others to do the same.
I am currently with my favorite people at my happy place. We are all so completely different. We place a high value on conflicting things. Sometimes we can’t agree on how to spend the day or which board game to play, but we love one another fiercely and that comes before everything else.
Be Honest: When we focus on the wrong things or don’t break out of negative thought patterns, we miss out on the beauty of the world around us, being present with our loved ones, making precious memories, and diving deep into relationships.
Be Kind: So what if we burn the turkey a bit or seat the wrong people together at the table. If we miss out on the Black Friday Sale and lay around in our PJs all day instead, it’s all going to be okay. Don’t forget to sit back and recognize the magic that is happening around you. It all goes by too quickly.
