I haven’t seen you in six months. I’m not sorry you’re gone.
Since the last time we saw each other, I don’t have to do a lot of things I was once a slave to. Now I just don’t…
I don’t count the hours until I can have my next drink.
I don’t wonder if I have “enough” to drink; if I need to go to the store and get more.
I don’t plan my activities around drinking; where and when and how much I get.
I don’t try to chase that “first buzz” feeling all night long.
I don’t use alcohol as a way to “be fun”, happy or OK with myself and the situation I’m in.
I don’t get loud, excitable, and become reckless with my safety and other people’s feelings.
I don’t get irritated, mean, and say things I regret.
I don’t snap at the people I love the most and hurt them.
I don’t fall down, lose things, forget things, and make a mess.
I don’t drink until I’m sick.
I don’t wake up over and over through the night, never falling into a deep sleep.
I don’t wake up the next day feeling like I can’t function.
I don’t wake up the next day disappointed.
I don’t wake up the next day unmotivated.
I don’t wake up the next day hating myself for being so weak.
I don’t dread looking at myself in the mirror.
I don’t feel afraid to deal with the thoughts and feelings I have in each moment.
I don’t hide from my family.
I don’t check out from my life.
I don’t escape into dark places where comfort is never found.
I have freedom. I am no longer bound. I am no longer your prisoner.
Now I get back the abundant time, money, and energy once poured into a void that only got deeper with alcohol. Now my cup is overflowing with self-love.
Now I spend time with my family. I look into the eyes of my children and play with them. I have sacred conversations and connections with my loved ones. I am repairing years of damage.
Now I think about what I say before I speak. I speak with intention. I honor my promises and commitments. I go for big dreams and goals. My word is valuable again. It is kind and purposeful. It is not meant to hurt.
Now I show up for the life I was given. I try not to waste or take a moment for granted. I appreciate the people around me just as I am, just the way they are. I enjoy the moments, events, and life itself as it is because it is incredibly beautiful that way.
Now I deal with the beautiful woman in the mirror. With whatever mood or headspace I find her in that day or that moment, I see her; I validate her; I give her my best love.
She deserves it.
You never deserved her.
