Are You Scared of Being Happy?

I have been doing a lot of reflection lately. Along with a deep dive on self-discovery. This comes with asking myself some very hard questions.

I can say I am making progress in finding out who I truly am and what I really want. I have been able to strengthen my mental state to be much more focused and clear.

The process has been unexpected and I have had to get out of my comfort zone quite a bit.

Even though it may seem a bit out there, the way I have been able to make headway in this area over the past few weeks mentally is through meditation.

When I used to hear the term “meditation” I would immediately go to the image of a monk (bald little man, red robe, a hundred years old) on the top of some huge mountain, sitting cross-legged with his palms up, saying “ohmmmm”…

Meditation in the past has seemed way too far-fetched and “out there” for me.

“I don’t do weird stuff like that”…

But strangely enough, as I embarked on this journey to focus on my brain health and mental wellness, the concept of meditation kept popping up again and again.

I have been reading motivational books and listening to some great podcasts lately.

A recurring theme from people like Jen Sincero (“You are a Badass”), Jay Shetty (“On Purpose”), and so many of their accomplished friends and guests when they talk about their success, has been the practice of meditation and the law of attraction.

The law of attraction states that we attract events and situations of similar frequency as our current feelings, thoughts, and beliefs.

Be it consciously or without our knowledge, we constantly put out an energy that in turn produces the circumstances, experiences, and people we either attract or repel.

Also known as the law of manifestation, this principled belief places emphasis on the power that our thoughts can have over the outcomes or events in our lives.

The best way to put yourself in the right headspace, for the law of attraction to work for you instead of against you, is to meditate.

Once you truly grasp the concept, you understand how much power you really have over your life.

I know – it’s heady stuff. It’s also great news if you’re willing to focus on it’s truth.

I have learned that you can meditate in a hundred different ways and degrees of expertise.

I am currently in the beginner’s stage.

I have committed myself to doing this every day.

One technique I just started and have really enjoyed is called “the circle”.

What you do is imagine yourself in the middle of a large circle. As you meditate (I sit silently with meditation music, eyes closed) you begin to bring things into your circle with you.

You start bringing in all of the wonderful things that will help make your future self come to life. These can be physical things, feelings, situations, other people- anything that creates the future person you want to be.

You start to see yourself and what’s possible. As you create, you become.

According to the law of attraction, that’s how powerful your thinking and energy is all the time.

According to many who know a thing or two about it, if one gets still in this state regularly, and sits in gratitude and mindfulness over and over, they find their true purpose and manifest it through their intentions and the law of attraction.

As I am silent and still in the energy of my circle, I think about the things I want to accomplish or create and the relationships that will be essential in my life. I move things (people, events, accomplishments, and moments) into my circle with me and bask in the happiness and gratitude that I am such an amazing person.

As I have been going through that process, I have noticed something else popping up as well.

Sometimes I go through mediation smiling and being peaceful in the truth of my amazing future, and other times I must constantly remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of these things.

I’m not sure where it comes from, but sometimes I find myself being torn away from my focus as a nasty thought creeps up inside me…

“How dare you?”

“How dare you be so sure of yourself?”

“How dare you pretend to be deserving of all this?”

It’s like I’m looking at an imposter trying to be happy but not actually worthy of any of it.

When I really think about it, the fact that I am asking these questions in the first place; doubting myself and who I could really be, makes me ask the true question…

“Am I scared to be happy?”

“Am I scared to be fully present and living intentionally with a positive mindset?”

“Am I scared because I am so used to the opposite way of living?”

Would happiness in the sense of fulfilling all those dreams and having those amazing relationships mean I must give up on things I am holding onto right now?

Maybe I would have to let go of the way I have conditioned myself since I was blossoming into an adult. Decades of bad habits.

Those habits are quite opposite what I see for my future self.

If I’m honest about those repetitive thoughts and behaviors, I realize…

I generate excuses when life gets hard.

I check out of relationships because they suck the life out of me.

I avert my potential.

I sabotage my own greatness.

If I am honest with these discoveries, I am scared to let go of the person I am right now that’s gotten comfortable in the mess I’ve created.

You might say I’m scared to be happy.

Sometimes I doubt if that future person deserves to exist. I wonder who I might alienate from my life if I move completely away from negative thoughts and behaviors. I wonder if it’s worth it to try.

I want to know if I’m alone.

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever dared to dream what it would look like to be immensely happy and in tune with your purpose? How it would look to have all your dreams come true and the relationships in your life healthy and thriving?

Have you then been scared to go after it no matter what the cost?

…

We have this amazing ability to be OK with settling for less.

…

We also have this amazing ability to be compassionate, influential and to create positive change.

We really do have greatness inside. A unique set of gifts and qualities that ensures we will make a difference in the world.

Our potential is infinite.

So how do we get out of living in doubt and fear? How do we stop the unhealthy, negative habits constantly pulling us down?

I think it comes down to practice.

Meditation is that set time every day for us to practice solely on our mindset.

We can do this.

We can practice meditation instead of spending abhorrent amounts of energy on doubting ourselves and sabotaging what we truly deserve.

We can practice the mindset we need to lift our frequency and attract what we want so that we can give the very best parts of ourselves to the world.

You can start today. Just sit quietly and focus on your amazing future self. Set a timer for 10 minutes.

Be Honest: There is a future self out there that is amazing just waiting on you. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Be Kind: Practicing meditation will help bridge the path to get there. Cheers and happy meditating friends!